The Video Game Critic's
Atari 2600 Reviews F-G

You have to love how even the worst Atari 2600 games managed to include elaborate background stories in their instruction booklets. The premise behind Fire Fly is that a space pilot testing a high-speed interplanetary craft skips off the rim of a black hole. Upon regaining consciousness, he finds himself in a mysterious world ruled by insects that are half-machine. I could delve even further, but there's no point because the story has absolutely nothing to do with this pathetic game. Fire Fly is utterly reprehensible in every way and practically unplayable. You control a free-moving blinking object that doesn't resemble much of anything. Moving from screen to screen, you shoot at evil pumpkins, demons, bats, and hydras. I can name these enemies because I looked in the manual, not because I could identify those sloppy, pixilated objects on the screen. Fire Fly's control is atrocious, the animation is jerky, and the non-stop background noise is unbearable! Of all the games in my Atari 2600 collection, this may well be the most worthless. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

Once again Starpath has taken a simple video game concept and kicked it up a notch. This fun Breakout clone features multiple balls and the ability to catch, aim, and throw them. You control a juggler on the bottom of the screen who can hold two balls at once, one in each hand (insert joke here). Things really heat up in the later levels, where you're forced to juggle five or six balls at once! Unlike the plain walls of Breakout, Fireball features a number of interesting brick arrangements. With the possible exception of Arkanoid (NES), this may be the most fun breakout-style game I've encountered. As with all Starpath games, Fireball must be loaded from tape unless you can get your hands on a "Stella Gets a New Brain" CD. © Copyright 1999 The Video Game Critic.

This ingenious game was created by David Crane, the man who later programmed the legendary Pitfall (Activision, 1982). Nowadays we take our fishing games for granted, but back in 1980 Fishing Derby was quite the novel concept. Two fishermen sit on docks on opposite sides of the screen, and by adjusting your line with the joystick, you attempt to hook one of the many fishes swimming below. Deeper fish are worth more points but require more effort to reel in. The fire button lets you reel in your fish quickly, and timing is key to avoiding the shark prowling along the surface, ready to snatch up anything in his vicinity. Fishing Derby's graphics are very good. The fish look like fish, the shark looks like a shark, and the rednecks look like rednecks. Fishing Derby doesn't offer much replay value for the solo player, but it does provide some terrific (and sometimes hilarious) head-to-head action. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

This game's about as exciting as... a flag. Despite its misleading cover art that suggests a wild, swashbuckling adventure, Flag Capture is little more than a two-player guessing game. The screen presents several rows of white squares, one of which hides a flag. Should you choose incorrectly, you may see a "hint" in the form of an arrow or number. If the sparse visuals don't turn you off, the abrasive sound effects sure will! Even the control feels erratic - you'll wrestle with the joystick just to navigate the simple grid. There are not many redeeming features in this game, and the "moving flag" variations will make you lose your mind. File Flag Capture under "F". It's flag-tastic! © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

This is an innovative space shooter with a fatal flaw. You fly a ship through a series of tunnels, blasting pods which hatch up bad guys. The bottom half of the screen displays a full map of the tunnel maze, which also indicates the pod locations. As you advance towards the pods, there are aliens to shoot and floating spacemen to pick up. Unfortunately, in order to move your ship horizontally, you need to push it against the left or right side of the screen. This gives you no chance to avoid oncoming enemies, resulting in numerous cheap deaths. This horrendous design flaw ruins what could have been a respectable title. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.

In my circle of friends, this classic cartridge will always be known as "trash can football" due to its ridiculous, blocky players. Yes, the graphics are really awful - no two ways about it. The "teams" are two sets of flickering "trash cans" moving slowly around a tiny, vertical field. But what's truly amazing about Football is that it's actually fun to play - and often hilarious. The football is a little black square. When hiked, the quarterback can either run the ball, or pass and "guide" it down the field. Unrealistic for sure, but it works great. You can also punt, but there are no field goals (extra points are automatic). The play selection is limited, but there's plenty of room for improvisation. Exhibiting incredible foresight, the programmer included a visible line showing where you need to get to for a first down. It took 20 more years for TV to invent that! By stripping down the game of football to its bare essentials, Atari inadvertently created a game more entertaining than many modern football titles. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

If I've overrated this game in the past (and I have), it's only because I love the theme. The object is to "wall up" Frankenstein's monster before he can come to life! The screen is divided into three levels connected by ladders, each with a unique set of hazards. The top of the screen is dominated by a large, white Frankenstein monster, who gradually turns green as lightning "charges" him up. Controlling a small but colorful hero, you embark on a perilous quest to collect stones. you must avoid ghosts on the top level, leap over spiders and pits on the middle tier, and traverse logs in a pool of acid in the dungeon below. Should you manage to transport a stone back up to the top, you'll then need to navigate a swarm of bats on a separate screen in order to place it into position. Several trips are required to complete your task, and it gets tougher each time. Flashing lightning and crashing thunder periodically alert you to the monster's state. The game offers plenty to see and do, and there are even shortcuts to exploit (hint: fall through the pits onto the floating logs). Frankenstein's Monster owes much of its design to Pitfall (Activision 1982), including the controls, sound effects, and the scoring system. As you hop across the three logs on the lower level, it's just like crossing the crocodile heads in Pitfall. The game is timed, and touching most hazards causes you to be docked for points instead of losing a life. Frankenstein features sophisticated gameplay, colorful visuals, and a surprisingly high level of difficulty. Unfortunately, it also lacks polish, and much of its difficulty can be attributed to unforgiving collision detection, causing you to helplessly slide off of logs and into pits. Simply completing the first stage is a monumental accomplishment. Once you deplete your three lives, you're treated to one of the best "endings" you'll witness in a 2600 game. Scaling graphics and stomping sound effects depict the large, blocky green monster walking towards the screen! Then the screen inexplicably turns entirely green, as Frankenstein apparently moons you from close range (disrespectful!) Frankenstein's Monster is probably the best title Data Age produced for the 2600. With its excellent graphics and refreshingly original theme, this one is well worth tracking down. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

Freeway is a very popular and simple Frogger-style game. The object is to guide your chicken across a 10-lane freeway as many times as you can within 2 minutes 16 seconds. The graphics look terrific and the vehicles are varied, colorful, and detailed. Unlike Frogger, you can only move your chicken up and down. This is quite a bit of fun with two players playing at once. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.