The Video Game Critic's
Xbox 360 Reviews A-B

Being the typical American sports fan, I have a healthy lack of appreciation for the sport of soccer. I can enjoy an arcade-style soccer game, but real soccer is about as tedious and boring as baseball (yikes!). My buddy Steve happens to be a "real" soccer player, and while he can vouch for the game's realism, even he has a hard time getting excited about FIFA World Cup. By making the game so damn realistic, EA has managed to suck every last ounce of fun out of it! There are a crazy number of options, including pages and pages of menus and about 5,000 actual teams to choose from (give or take). I prefer getting right down to business with the ever-popular "play now" mode. When selecting a team, I tend to stick with Brazil or Italy because they're supposed to kick ass, but you'd never know from this game. From what I understand it's possible to score in soccer, but most of the contests I've played ended in 0-0 ties. This game is difficult. Your player is rarely in position when you pass ahead, and when he is, it's too easy to inadvertently make an extra pass to no one. Getting off a decent shot on goal is nearly impossible. You'd think that holding down the shot button would result in a stronger kick, but instead it sends the ball flying high over the net! When playing with friends, prepare to spend the first three minutes or so just figuring out which color you are, because the game makes no effort to tell you beforehand. And even then it's hard to tell which player you're controlling because the colored arrows above the players' heads are so freakin' tiny! The default camera angle is extremely wide, giving you a good view but making the goals and players look incredibly small. The stadiums are fairly massive, and the blizzard of balloons and confetti coming from the stands looks great (I feel bad for the digitized groundskeepers who have to clean up all that stuff!). World Cup's commentary is exceptionally good, and I love it when they describe the ball as being "dispossessed". But there's really not much to like about World Cup. Whether you're a casual fan or a soccer maniac, I doubt you'll derive much enjoyment from this dull, dry soccer title. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

This has got to be the weirdest snowboarding game I've ever played. Despite investing many hours in Amped 3 over the past year or so, the game remains an enigma. Its lack of coherent structure is confounding, and its humor is often more infantile than clever. Still, those wide-open whites slopes are inviting, the controls are easy enough, and the sheer variety of challenges will keep you coming back again and again. Amped 3 is distinguished by its free spirit and offbeat sense of humor. You can explore each mountain on your own or participate in any number of challenges available at a given time. There's a little bit of racing, but most of the emphasis is placed on performing tricks for points, or participating in odd mini-games like jumping through hoops or collecting Easter Eggs tumbling down the slopes. There's even some snowmobile and sledding action, but the snowmobile is hard to control and the sled looks like a picnic basket. When snowboarding the sense of speed is mediocre and the collision detection is so-so, but it's easy to execute crazy tricks - maybe too easy. Grinds are pretty much automatic, so all you need to do is maintain your balance. Likewise when you're floating through the air it's hard not to pull off a spectacular stunt. The game's sense of freedom provides for ample replay value, but new players will quickly find themselves bewildered, wondering what the heck they need to do to make progress. The map is a confusing hodge-podge of symbols, and you really need to experiment to determine the "method behind the madness". My friend Steve and I couldn't even locate the two-player co-op mode, much less play it. The graphics are perfectly decent but they don't try to push the envelope. Amped 3 incorporates a lot of wacky, psychedelic visuals (reminiscent of Yellow Submarine) and imaginative but often juvenile animated cinematics. A few poke fun at classic video games, and these are undeniably hilarious. The game's alternative music soundtrack has a nice edgy quality, and I especially dig that "Call Me A Crazy Monkey" song. Amped 3 comes off as disorganized and sloppy, but if you're the laid-back, earthy-type who enjoys games designed by people on drugs, this isn't a bad way to waste a few hours. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

It was dogged by months of delays, but it's hard to complain when the final product looks this good. The attention to detail, art direction, and sheer quality of Batman: Arkham Asylum is nothing short of spectacular. In the game's premise, the Joker has taken over the Arkham Asylum and turned the inmates into his henchmen. This Asylum is far more than just a building - it's an entire complex of buildings scattered over an island. The scope of the game is large, and the tone is surprisingly dark and sinister. The first-rate graphics boast some absolutely breathtaking scenery featuring water views and city skylines. Batman has no problem navigating the shadowy, gothic scenery, as he can grapple most ledges at the touch of a button. Exploring the surroundings is enjoyable, and some buildings even have funhouse/haunted house flavor. There's morgue area that's genuinely creepy in a Friday the 13th sort of way. The game's puzzles might be frustrating if not for the handy "detective mode" which highlights "points of interest" in the scenery. The fighting controls are perfectly suited to laying the smack-down on several foes in rapid succession, and each devastating blow is punctuated with exaggerated sounds and slow motion effects. If the crooks are armed however, it's best to use your stealth abilities for a "divide and conquer" approach. Batman: Arkham Asylum is brimming with style and has a flair for the dramatic. Brief cut-scenes are seamlessly intertwined with the action, and the Joker makes regular announcements over the monitors and intercoms. The voice acting is superb, and the language is pretty harsh for a superhero game. The music is restrained but effective, with a melancholy piano adding suspense during quiet moments. But perhaps the most impressive aspect of the game is its crisp, responsive controls. There are plenty of buttons to remember, but the game frequently reminds you how you perform key actions like activating the detective mode or executing a special take-down move. The game has more than its share of original gameplay elements like following a trail of fingerprints to locate a victim or picking electronic locks by maneuvering the controller thumbsticks. As great as it is, Arkham Asylum may be guilty of being too long. Certain stages feel very drawn out, and even when backtracking you're usually forced to clear out the thugs whether it's really necessary or not. The game has a knack for taking a perfectly good concept (like using vents to infiltrate locked rooms) and thoroughly beating it to death! If it were shorter and tighter, I think the game would feel more cohesive and satisfying. Even so, Batman Arkham Asylum is a work of art that will far exceed most gamers' expectations. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Rhythm games are only as good as their music, and it doesn't get any better than the Beatles. It's really a joy to play the guitar, bass, drum, and vocal parts of these timeless tunes. The Beatles experimented with such a remarkable range of styles in their ten years that the track listing has more variety than most music games. The song selection represents a perfect cross-section of the band's best guitar-driven hits. You get the pop brilliance of Twist and Shout and the psychedelic weirdness of I Am The Walrus. You get the bluesy guitar riffs of Get Back and the bone-jarring spectacle of Helter Skelter. I was especially pleased with the inclusion of lesser-known gems like Hey Bulldog and The End. The controls are very forgiving, and the new controllers look amazing. The plastic ridges on the guitar neck feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you get used to them. I noticed that the whammy bar does not affect the audio of the song, although it does register on the screen. I guess they didn't want to alter the songs due to licensing issues. I've heard gamers question the level of difficulty in Beatles Rock Band, but while I'll concede it's generally easier, that's actually a good thing. Heck, if you want a real challenge, why don't you sing while you play - like the Beatles did? The game also boasts excellent production values with a polished user interface and a sweet auto-calibrate feature. Between stages you'll enjoy brief montages depicting the band going through their various incarnations via vintage photographs and animated artwork. By the time you advance to the final rooftop concert, you'll feel sad that the Beatles had to come to an end. Of course, the fact that the game leaves you wanting more is a testament to its greatness. If you've never gone through a "Beatles phase", now might be a good time. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Sega produced outstanding Olympic games for the Saturn and Dreamcast, but with Beijing 2008 they've forsaken fun for realism. Reviewing this game was a veritable chore, with one event wearing out its welcome after the next. Beijing's graphics aren't bad, but the pacing is slow, the events are long, and the controls are counter-intuitive. The "Olympic mode" lets you play all 35 events(!), which could take longer than the real Olympic games! Not only do you have to qualify for each event (ugh!), but you constantly have to dole out "attribute points" for your team. Thank goodness for the "competition mode" which lets you create a customized schedule! I recommend selecting the shortest event from each discipline, and steering clear of novelty events like kayaking, judo, and table tennis. You can view a tutorial before each contest, but it's no longer available once you begin, which is dumb. Why couldn't Sega just post the instructions on those lengthy load screens instead? Some events support multiple control schemes, but that's more confusing than it is helpful. You're never told how many tries you're going to get in an event, and instead of seeing your results immediately after an attempt, there's an extended pause which is just unbearable. A bizarre new trigger mechanism is used to get off the starting blocks, and I screwed up about six events before finally figuring it out. In the discus throw, the controls are touchy to the point of being unplayable. The diving contests unfold in slow motion, needlessly dragging them out. I love how the game celebrated my 0.0 weightlifting score as a new "personal best". Events can't be skipped, so once you find yourself in a lengthy table tennis tournament, there's no escape. Each event is weighed down by pointless cut-scenes which train you to press A constantly. After the final event the game abruptly exits to the main screen without telling you who won. It's an unceremonious end to a wholly unsatisfying game. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

As one of a trio of $3.99 Burger King (BK) games, Big Bumpin' places BK-related characters in a fun amusement park environment. Unlike the poorly maintained, accident-prone bumper car rides I grew up with however, these rides are "open air" with have impressive wooden backdrops including a fire-breathing dragon and pirate ship. I love how the bright neon lights reflect on the shiny arena surfaces. There are plenty of playing modes, but most aren't as fun as you might expect. The "last man standing" mode should be a blast, but its weak "bumps" aren't satisfying at all. Other modes let you play variations of hot potato or capture the flag, but they're equally lame. What truly saves the whole package is "Bumpin' Hockey" - the game's one shining moment. Played two-on-two, the action never lets up as you try to bang an oversized "puck" into your opposition's goal. If you can gather up three friends, you'll have an absolute blast with this. It would be nice if you could adjust the skill level of the CPU-controlled players, but as my friend Scott astutely pointed out, this isn't a $7.99 game! Big Bumpin' never lives up to its potential, but the hockey action makes it ideal for multiplayer mayhem. NOTE: This game also plays on a regular Xbox, with slightly degraded graphic quality. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

If you thought the future of first-person shooters (FPS) was limited to strangers sniping at each other on-line, this amazing story-driven epic may alter your perspective. Bioshock does for FPS games what Resident Evil 4 did for the survival horror genre, raising the bar extremely high. It takes the dark, claustrophobic environments of Doom 3, the twisted occult themes of Silent Hill, and even elements of the film "The Shining" to create a distinctive, unsettling style all of its own. The undersea city of Rapture is part fun house and part haunted house, with bulletproof windows that offer magnificent views of what appears to be a submerged version of New York City. Set in the year 1960, the old-fashioned advertisements, neon lights, chrome moldings, and plush furniture call to mind an elegant, wholesome era of long ago. No game has ever tackled this period before, but Bioshock succeeds in spectacular fashion due to its brilliant art direction and unflinching attention to detail. The story begins with a plane crash, and early stages gradually usher you into the dark world of Rapture as you slowly become accustomed to the controls. The water effects are astonishing, and the deteriorating environments appear damp and properly aged. Buildings are connected by glass walkways, allowing you to explore diverse facilities like a medical center, an atrium, a farmer's market, and a lavish theater. Items and ammo can be found throughout the rich scenery, and rifling through desks, trashcans, and file cabinets is fun and habit-forming. Your adversaries are deranged masked people disfigured by demented surgical procedures. Upon gunning one down, I was really impressed by how its body contorted itself realistically as it slumped between two pieces of furniture. Completing each stage requires you to "save" or "harvest" infected little girls protected by imposing figures in deep-sea diving suits. The heavy footsteps and distinctive groans of these "big daddies" will instill an overwhelming sense of fear into any gamer. In addition to standard weaponry, you acquire injectable "plasmids" providing a wide range of unconventional powers, including telekinesis, lightning, incineration, and even the power to hypnotize big daddies! As a result, most challenges can be solved in a variety of ways. Snapping photos of enemies awards you with attack bonuses, making it well worth the effort. You also have the option of "hacking" vending machines, safes, and attack droids by playing a frantic "connect the circuit" mini-game. The audio is unnerving, with jarring noises, alarming footsteps, and muffled voices in distress. Tape recorders enlighten you to the sordid history of Rapture, and some of the voice clips are rather disturbing, like when a surgeon muses "It's time we did something about symmetry" as his female patient screams in horror. The first-rate voice acting is completely convincing, and the soundtrack is sensational, incorporating vintage phonograph music to good effect. Expertly designed and programmed, Bioshock's developers skillfully side-step the pratfalls so many other FPS games fall into. The difficulty can be adjusted at any time, checkpoints are copious, and after you are resurrected, your enemies retain their previous damage. Not only can you save your progress at any time from the pause menu, but the game has an auto-save as well. An arrow keeps you headed in the proper direction, and hints are readily available. With its stunning originality, engrossing storyline, and fantastic production values, Bioshock practically defies criticism. Hours literally melt away as you become caught up its fantastic tale of an undersea utopia gone mad. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

BlazBlue is a 2D fighter from the good people who brought you Guilty Gear. For the first time, a new 2D fighter has leveraged high definition to take the artistry of the genre to the next level. BlazBlue is allegedly set in a futuristic world, yet its gothic characters would look perfectly at home in a Castlevania title. Despite a fresh set of faces, many of these fighters look awfully familiar. Ragna the BloodEdge reminds me of K' (of King of Fighters fame), and the cat-like Taokaka calls to mind Felicia from Darkstalkers. Rachel Alucard is a young vamp, and Carl Clover is a nerd with glasses and a top hat. Iron Tager looks like a giant red orc from Lord of the Rings, and Arakune is a masked shape-changer. The obligatory hotties include a blonde named Noel Vermillion with a sweet pair of pistols and a brunette named Litchi Faye-Ling armed with a bo staff. The fighting action is very much like Guilty Gear. Expect a lot of jumping and gaudy visual effects, resulting in scenes as chaotic as they are spectacular. I think they went a little overboard with the flying moves. One of the special moves is accompanied by Japanese singing, it's unintentionally hilarious. The fighting system introduces several new gauges and mechanisms, but these are mainly defensive in nature. Novice players and button-mashers will ignore them, but they do offer something for die-hards to sink their teeth into. There's no tutorial mode in BlazBlue, so you might want to read the instructions. My Street Fighter 4 arcade stick works like a champ with this game. Once I adopted a character and learned a few moves, I could hold my own, but I never really felt comfortable with this game. The high-resolution fantasy stages are an eyeful, but the scenery is too busy and confusing. The only stage that did catch my eye was "Halloween", with its orange lights, red roses, and looming mansion. The story mode is mostly text, and it bored me to tears. The arcade mode isn't very compelling with its endless continues, but I did enjoy the score attack mode. Your scores can be viewed from the leaderboard in the options menu, but man, they tend to be like 12 digits long! Playing a friend in the versus mode is your best bet. BlazBlue is a little too over-the-top for my taste, but hardcore fighting fans should appreciate the challenge and eye candy. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

The thought of returning to high school may not sound appealing to most, but Bully lets you do the kind of stuff you wanted to do in school, like pick fights, play pranks, kiss girls, pull fire alarms, break into lockers, and simply be a major disruption. While similar in structure to the Grand Theft Auto (GTA) games, Bully is actually better in many ways due to its smaller scale. It also happens to be less profane and not nearly as raunchy. This game received stellar reviews on the PS2 a few years back, and it gets a new lease on life on the 360 with extra missions, improved graphics, and two-player mini-games. Playing the role of a 15-year-old juvenile delinquent named Jimmy Hopkins (who looks closer to 50), you roam freely around an expansive virtual campus while embarking on various missions. The campus is an interesting place, and I was especially pleased to see the leaves change color with the seasons and decorations go up for holidays. Rule-enforcing prefects drag you to class when you're truant, but even the classes are fun! In English, you'll unscramble letters, and in chemistry you hit buttons as they scroll across the screen. Art is played like the old Qix arcade game, and biology walks you through a realistic frog dissection. As you might imagine, the dissection begs for motion controls. These mini-games are also available in the excellent two-player mode. Bully has its share of load screens, but they tend to be short and colorful. The action moves at a steady pace, and the story is conveyed through brief, well-crafted cut-scenes. The stiff character faces reveal the game's PS2 origins, but the stately brick buildings and their lavish interiors still look terrific. The excellent soundtrack strikes an irreverent tone, and the professional voice acting is quite convincing. My issues with Bully are similar to those I have with GTA games in general. The missions are fun at first but start to feel like errands after a while. Once the scope of the game extends to a nearby town, the fun factor takes a hit. The basic storyline is very linear, so until you complete a critical mission you're forced to keep replaying it. Bully never achieves true greatness, but with an original concept, clever design, and high production values, it comes admirably close. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Holy cow - it's yet another outstanding racer for the Xbox 360! Unlike most critics, I felt the previous edition of this popular racing series, Burnout 3, was highly overrated. It was too chaotic, the single player mode was too confusing, and the famous "Crash Mode" was a huge letdown. With Burnout Revenge however, the series has reached new heights, with an absolutely captivating single-player mode and hyper-competitive split screen action. The controls are dead-on as you blaze down gorgeous highways, weaving around oncoming traffic and rear-ending cars with reckless abandon. One great new feature is the ability to slam into cars going in the same direction, sending them flying all over the place. Just be sure not to hit anything head-on! "Taking down" an opponent usually just involves slamming into them from the side, sending them into a wall or an oncoming vehicle. The sense of speed is amazing, but like Burnout 3, the game is too generous with the turbo boost. In fact, in many instances you can practically use it for the duration of the race. The cars model damage, and by the end of a grinding race, your once-shiny sports car is unrecognizable. I absolutely love the scenic courses, which include seaside resorts, realistic alleyways, and wide-open highways. The majestic mountain stages stand head-and-shoulders above those "paper mache" mountains seen in Full Auto. A kick-ass soundtrack fuels the action, and thank God that annoying commentator has been canned. The single-player mode is expertly designed, providing a reasonable ramping difficulty and gradual unlocking of cars and tracks. But for all the accolades, there are a few problems. For one thing, the number of load screens and cinematic intermissions is gratuitous. You'll be pounding the start button and shouting "get on with it already!" Also, the crash modes originally made famous in Burnout 2 are a complete joke. After you smash into a vehicle, the ensuing "chain reaction" is totally over-the-top and unsatisfying. Thirty seconds after the initial collision, idiot cars are still appearing from out of nowhere and inexplicably ramming into the pile. Many even appear to speed up before hitting the smoldering mass. Millions of dollars of damage is tallied, but you never feel like you've earned any of it. Judged on its racing element however, Burnout Revenge is as polished and addictive as can be. If you crave arcade-style racing, look no further. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.