The Video Game Critic's
Xbox 360 Reviews C-E

I picked up Cabela's African Safari mainly out of curiosity, and I sort of regret it. I've always associated African safaris with scenic rides through the savannah while looking for picture-taking opportunities. Cabela's idea of a safari is blasting furry animals to oblivion. Fair enough - after all, Cabela is a hunting magazine. Don't get me wrong - I'm all for senseless violence in video games, but I prefer blasting normal, everyday targets like robots, thugs, or ninjas. African Safari's graphics are functional but somewhat weak, with rudimentary people models and rough animation. The game offers a nice variety of missions, but you'll need to complete them in a particular order. You'll target birds from a cruising riverboat, follow a herd of antelope from the back of a speeding jeep, and face charging wildebeests in the middle of an open plain. Most weapons are equipped with some kind of zoom mechanism that lets you take aim from a comfortable distance, and there's even a Matrix-style "slow down" mode. Though I've never been hunting "for real", I don't think this game is especially realistic. First off, there's a lot of thick brush to trudge through, but it doesn't seem to slow you down one bit. A radar screen not only indicates the exact location of your target, but other animals in the vicinity as well. Once animals are fired upon, they tend to totally freak out, running all over the place. That's bad news, because some of these things can absorb more bullets than a freakin' Terminator! You'll need to execute a number of kills within a time limit to successfully complete a mission, and it's not easy. In early missions you tend to target small animals, so you'll need to invest some time in the game before working your way up to the rhinos and lions. There are about seven play modes, but most are locked until you complete the main "Safari Hunt". Cabela's African Safari failed to maintain my interest, but my friend Steve claims his father-in-law is really into hunting and he loves this game, so I guess there's an audience for this. Feel free to bump up the grade by a letter if you enjoy hunting in real life. But as Steve so eloquently stated, "Games like this require time and patience, and we have neither." © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Wow, who would have thought Alaska could be so freakin' boring?! I was anticipating a realistic, open-ended romp through the wilderness, but instead Alaskan Adventures seems phony and contrived. The game immediately cuts to the chase, letting you hunt down a huge polar bear right off the bat. Actually, I'm not sure "hunt" is the right word, considering the thing is basically a sitting duck. After pumping it with lead, you claim your prize by approaching it and pressing A. This initiates the "animal camera", which lets you examine the bleeding carcass at close range. So... are we having fun yet?? Before embarking on other hunting expeditions you must first enter the "outpost" and traverse a series of tedious, confusing menus to purchase and outfit yourself with the proper gear. Once you finally begin a hunt, a PDA provides a radar display indicating exactly where the animals are! Okay, hold it right there. I've never been hunting before, but doesn't using computer equipment defeat the whole purpose?! Hell, you might as well be playing a video game. Oh wait... Anyway, the animals are usually in close range and easy to target. It feels like you're shooting fish in a barrel, and it's about as satisfying! Speaking of fish, Ice Fishing is another activity you can partake it. Sega Bass Fishing (Dreamcast, 1999) it is not. As it turns out, sitting by a hole in the ice is about as fun as... well, sitting by a hole in the ice. After getting a bite, non-intuitive controls are used to reel the fish in to minimal fanfare. Dog sledding is another mini-game, but that's just unbearable. Alaskan Adventure's graphics are fair, and the audio features nice crunchy footsteps and howling winds. But without delivering the realism of a simulation or the fun of an arcade title, Alaskan Adventures languishes in the dreaded "no-man's land" of video games. You can bump up the grade by a letter if hunting is your thing, but as a seasoned video game addict, my time is better spent shooting ninjas, robots, and fat guys who blink red. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Probably the best of the Xbox 360 launch titles, Call of Duty 2 brilliantly showcases the system's power in the form of a remarkably immersive WWII first-person shooter. The game is gorgeous, easy to play, and often exhilarating. Its war-torn environments are totally convincing, the explosions are earthshaking, and fellow soldiers take cover and bark at each other with uncanny realism. The attention to detail makes all the difference, with blowing snow, hazy smoke effects, and the perpetual sound of gunfire in the distance. You'll witness huge bombers flying overhead and tanks rolling above as you take cover in the trenches. The stages are so well designed that you barely realize how completely linear the game is. The controls are as crisp as the graphics, and your degree of precision while aiming is amazing. As with any first-person shooter, your vision is limited, but a handy visual indicator alerts you to any grenades in close proximity. To tell you the truth, the game would probably be unplayable without it. The single player missions are truly exciting, and the intensity never lets up. The checkpoints are frequent, you can save at any time, and the load times are negligible. If there's one area where Call of Duty 2 disappoints, it's the multiplayer split-screen modes. You can't play cooperatively, and the environments are far too large for four players. You'll go for minutes before you can even find anyone to shoot! My friends would have loved to have been able to fight as a team against a CPU-controlled army. Still, Call of Duty 2 is still a smart purchase on the strength of its excellent single-player mode. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Call of Duty 4 (CoD4) offers jaw-dropping squad-based first-person shooting action, and it would be difficult to find a better-looking game for the 360. CoD4's two-pronged storyline unfolds in a war-torn Middle-Eastern city and the Russian countryside, with missions alternating between the two locations. The initial training stage not only gets you acquainted with the controls, but also recommends a difficulty level based on your performance! Unlike the run-and-gun action of Halo, CoD4 demands a calculated, deliberate approach to each new area, with heavy emphasis on sniping. A helpful objective marker on your compass always keeps you headed in the right direction. CoD4's shooting controls are outstanding, whether aiming through a scope or "shooting from the hip" while on the move. Fatal shots are accompanied by splashes of blood, but enemies can recover from minor wounds and continue battle. One element borrowed from Halo is your ability to reconstitute health if you stay out of harm's way for a few seconds. A more original feature that I love is your ability to call in air strikes or helicopter support at the press of a button. The modern day equivalent of the "smart bomb", it's incredibly satisfying in the multi-player modes. Also notable is your ability to throw grenades back at enemies! The photo-realistic environments consist of crumbling ruins, burning apartments, country cottages, and a high-tech television station. The diverse missions deliver a lot of tense but memorable moments. You'll escape a sinking frigate, flee from a crash-landing helicopter, crawl past Russian soldiers in a field, shoot down a helicopter with stinger missiles, and engage in harrowing rescue operations. In one after-dark mission you aim missiles from high in the sky using night vision, and it's amazing to see the tiny people below scurrying away from the explosions. Missions are ideal in length with frequent checkpoints, and cut-scenes meld seamlessly with the action, providing some shocking twists. The save and load screens are masked by status displays so buzzing with activity that it's almost sensory overload. On the multiplayer side, the split-screen action is the best I've played, with interesting stage layouts that are perfectly sized. I only wish there was a co-op mode. The critically-acclaimed on-line mode is the main attraction for many gamers. Technically, Call of Duty 4 is watertight, but its realism can intrude on the fun. It's hard to differentiate your troops from enemies as they all look the same. The grenade indicators are rather small, and you might not notice them until it's too late. Cars on fire explode with alarming frequency, leading to many instant deaths. Finally, if you play games to escape the real world, the Mid-East locations look a lot like what you'd see on the news. But for those who crave realism in their war games, Call of Duty 4 is the real deal. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

In the crowded field of Xbox 360 first-person shooters, Modern Warfare 2 leads the pack when it comes to realism, variety, and attention to detail. You play as multiple soldiers in a convoluted yet intriguing storyline that takes you to snowy Russia, the streets of Brazil, and even a war-ravaged Washington D.C. That's right people, America is now the front line! The story is fairly over-the-top, yet told with such realistic fervor that you can't help but buy into it. The missions are intense, action-packed, and ideal in length (about a half hour each). Whether you're rescuing hostages on a massive oilrig, picking off patrols in a snowy forest, directing air fire at enemy tanks, or running for your life over rooftops, Modern Warfare 2 is quite the adrenaline rush. One early mission features a high-speed snowmobile shootout, and I believe Activision could concoct an entire game out of that sequence alone! Most missions place you alongside friendly troops, but it's awfully hard to tell friend from foe in the heat of battle. This confusion adds to the realism and forces you to think before you act. Mowing down enemies is fun thanks to the splashing blood that punctuates each hit. Injured enemies lying on the ground can still fire their weapons, so stay alert. The campaign mode demands a thoughtful, deliberate approach, but the mission difficulties tend to be uneven (Brazil is a killer). The plot is heavily scripted, and occasionally the game will kick into "autopilot" to play out crucial scenes. There are usually multiple routes through each war zone, but a helpful marker always points the way, even indicating the number of meters to your next destination. When you die, the game picks up right near where you left off, alleviating the frustration factor. Modern Warfare 2 gives you the option of skipping a particularly controversial mission that involves mowing down hundreds of innocent civilians in a Russian airport. It feels a bit contrived, but it does set up the story well. Online junkies will contend that the campaign mode is just a warm-up for on-line multi-player mode, but several excellent split-screen modes are also available for off-line gamers, including a fun cooperative "special ops" mode. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 often pushed me to the point of sensory overload, but I played until my wrist was sore. It's a pretty amazing ride, packing enough "holy cow!" moments for six games! © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

The object of this turn-based strategy game is to gradually develop a civilization from scratch, taking it from the stone age to the space age on your way to global domination. Unlike similar PC games like Age of Empires, Civilization Revolution is a strategy title "for the rest of us". What sets it apart is simplified graphics, brisk pacing, and automation of tedious tasks. You can just dive in, and you will not need to dedicate your life to it! You begin by selecting one of many historical leaders like Cleopatra (Egypt), Napoleon (France), or Abraham Lincoln (US). By toying around with a gradually expanding number of options, you'll grow a population, assemble armies, develop technology, and construct "great wonders" like a Pyramid or Colossus. The game gets you off to a running start, but holds your hand by offering constant tips, advice, and status reports. The fact that you can only construct one thing at a time (per city) simplifies things dramatically. Turns pass quickly and new options steadily become available, keeping my short attention span fully engaged. Some decisions you'll make have interesting ramifications. For example, adopting a Democratic form of government boosts your productivity, but don't be surprised when the people overrule your foreign policy decisions! My favorite aspect of the game is the combat. It's fun to deploy armies to foreign lands and watch the automated battles unfold. Technology plays a vital role, so if you're the first country to develop a new weapon (like a catapult), you'll have a huge advantage. Civilization Revolution's visual style is similar to Sid Meier's Pirates (Xbox, 2005), boasting a semi-realistic but slightly whimsical flavor. I was expecting to play this game in short bursts, but whenever I fired it up, I was hooked for hours. The streamlined user interface is nice, but sometimes it's hard to figure out how to do basic things like examine the contents of a ship. Revolution keeps the world map small to minimize navigation, but one side effect is cluttered cities that all look very similar. The pace of the game really picks up in later stages, and sometimes it feels like a runaway freight train. Even so, Civilization Revolution packs a lot of punch into its short campaigns, making world domination both fun and easy! © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

The fluid animation and vibrant graphics of College Hoops 2K7 feels like a breath of fresh air after playing EA's sub-par NCAA 07 March Madness. In 2K7, players move with uncanny realism and even the fabric of their baggy uniforms flows impressively. The action is decidedly up-tempo, with plenty of deflected passes, loose balls, and fast break opportunities. Responsive controls make it easy to dish the ball on offense, hound your man on defense, and perform sweet give-and-gos during transitions. I do however wish the right stick was used perform crossover dribbles instead of functioning as a confusing "shot stick". Selected players are clearly highlighted with colorful circles that also contain helpful icons including wings (speed), hands (ball handling), and the number three for long range specialists. Unlike March Madness where you can drive the hoop with reckless abandon, nothing comes easy in College Hoops, but that makes it all the more satisfying. Pressing the left bumper brings up the passing icons, but you can't always see them for players near the top edge of the screen, which is problematic. Shooting foul shots involves a simple movement of the right stick, and while I'm not a big fan, at least it lets you know if you release too early or too late. The arenas look fantastic with constant activity everywhere you look. The crowd looks fine from a distance, but up close they all look like people from Dr. Suess' Whoville. Coaches constantly prowl the sidelines, and just like in real life they even wander onto the court. Gary Williams of Maryland looks about right, but his voice is way off. A two-man team provides fine commentary, but you'll need to turn the crowd noise way down if you want to hear them (why is it so loud?). College Hoops has an impressive TV-style presentation, with professional-looking graphics and a post-game show with Greg Gumble. Sometimes the graphics can be a little too much however, like when Bonnie Berstein's name is plastered over the screen while the game is in progress! Excuse me, but we're trying to play here! Much like Madden, bonuses flash on the bottom of the screen after you've performed extraordinary feats like hitting 10 shots in a row. One issue I have to mention is the confusing menu navigation system. Using the right stick to call up menus may be the dumbest, least intuitive idea in the entire history of video games. Still, College Hoops is an easy choice for college basketball fans trying to generate a little bit of their own March madness this year. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Despite its detrimental effect on my blood pressure, I found myself drawn into Condemned. In this dark, first-person thriller you play the role of a wrongly-accused cop fleeing the law while in pursuit of the "real" killer. The atmosphere maintains an ultra-high level of intensity as you creep through abandoned buildings, collect evidence, and bash the skulls of crazed wandering drugs addicts (who love to sneak up on you). The dark alleys, grungy abandoned buildings, and dank subway corridors look amazing. Don't let anybody tell you that graphics don't matter, because these "next generation" visuals make you feel "in the game" like never before. Condemned's understated soundtrack is sparse but effective. Every creak is jolting, and every shadow is alarming. The game plays like a video game adaptation of the classic movie Seven. I must confess I was initially apprehensive about the whole "evidence collecting" aspect. I feared it would be slow and tedious, but fortunately that's not the case. The game prompts you to use the appropriate device to scan the immediate area, which always reveals some kind of glowing clue. There action is complimented by a compelling storyline and brief cut-scenes that blend in seamlessly. Condemned is relentlessly scary. After one prolonged stage in the dark, I was practically begging for daylight. As for weapons, you'll wield whatever you can get your hands on, including pipes, fire axes, sledgehammers, and sawed-off shotguns. The game even informs you how a newly discovered weapon compares to the one you're currently holding (in terms of damage, range, etc). On the downside, the maze-like environments grow tiresome over time, and sometimes you can't tell where attacks are coming from (especially bullets). But despite these minor issues, Condemned packs a wallop and is truly intense. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

When I played the first Condemned (Xbox 360, 2005), I was blown away by its edgy first-person gameplay. While creeping through dark, abandoned buildings there was no telling when some drug-crazed lunatic would leap out at you with a wrench, and the intensity could reach unbearable proportions. Condemned 2 offers a lot of the same but incorporates more sophisticated fighting controls and additional forensic elements. When you enter certain areas, you're prompted to examine evidence and deduce exactly what happened based on subtle visual clues. It plays like a little mini game, and offers a nice respite from the blood-splattering beatings. And lord knows there's plenty of that to go around! When you hear maniacal laughter, rest assured it's just a matter of time before some twisted freak sneaks up on you. In addition to the typical shotguns and baseball bats, there's an assortment of unusual new weapons like prosthetic arms, dolls, and even toilet seats. Speaking of which, why are the bathrooms in these game always so filthy? For once, I'd like to stumble upon a pristine bathroom in a video game! As with the first Condemned, the level of detail in the environments is astonishing - even up close. When looking out one window, I was impressed to see some birds fly by. Unfortunately, the scenery is also very repetitive, and when searching alleys and hotels it's hard to tell if you're exploring a new area or backtracking! Another annoyance is the arbitrary nature of the game. Certain doors won't open until a specific action occurs first, and that makes the game feel scripted. Bits and pieces of the storyline are conveyed via televisions, where you use the right stick to adjust the "rabbit ears" antenna to view parts of newscasts. The game frequently saves your progress automatically, which tends to relieve a great deal of anxiety. Condemned 2 is great on a technical level, but its gameplay becomes tiresome - especially if you've already played the first game. There are plenty of pulse-pounding moments, but after a while you may find yourself growing weary of it all. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Considering the poor reception of Crash of the Titans (Xbox 360, 2007), I'm surprised Sierra followed it up so quickly with the ultra-lame Mind Over Mutant. I can only assume they did it as an excuse to make it work with Xbox Live (joy). My friend George is a Crash Bandicoot veteran who completed all three original games, so I recruited him to help me put this game through its paces. He tried to maintain a positive attitude, but it wasn't easy! Mind Over Mutant recycles the previous game's engine with similar results. The new "two player coop" mode is a complete joke. Both players must share a single screen, and as one jumps between platforms the other invariably falls out of view, causing an unhelpful arrow to appear on the edge of the screen. The problem is, there's no mechanism to help the poor slob catch up! In time we discovered that the best strategy is to let the lead player forge ahead and wait for the second player to magically reappear at the next checkpoint. As with the previous Crash adventure (Crash of the Titans, 2007), you can hop on the backs of large animals and use them to clear away obstacles or beat the living crap out of enemies. Unfortunately this time your beast is usually pitted against other big beasts, and defeating them requires monotonous "rinse and repeat" attack patterns. One truly awful new feature is Crash's ability to tunnel under the ground. The problem is, once underground his movements are heavily constrained by invisible walls. The stages are buggy and poorly designed in general, and the load screens are unrelenting. The highlight of the game might just be the cartoon intermissions. While they run entirely too long, you have to appreciate their sophisticated Adult Swim-style humor. The voice of N. Gin sounds a lot like Ren from the old Ren and Stimpy Show. Mind Over Mutant probably would have made a pretty decent cartoon. Unfortunately for us, it's supposed to be a game! © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

Is this really an Xbox 360 game? With such sparse scenery and angular character models, I could have sworn Crash of the Titans was a PS2 game. Crash Bandicoot may have been a legend on the original Playstation, but his star has faded over the years and now he's relegated to bargain bin titles like this. Most critics completely overlooked Crash of the Titans, and for good reason! This is some very uninspired stuff. The first stage has you jogging through some linear, unspectacular jungle environments while grabbing gems. The graphics lack detail and the gems are so copious that there's absolutely no satisfaction to be derived from collecting them. Crash can perform kung-fu moves against each inept group of henchmen he encounters. His once-effective spin attack is now executed by twirling the left stick and then pressing X repeatedly. Talk about awkward! Crash navigates his surroundings by gliding like a helicopter, bouncing off of mushrooms, and hanging onto ledges. The camera control is minimal however, making it hard to gauge your jumps. Titan's apparent claim to fame is your ability to commandeer large beasts - after you beat them into submission. Depending on the nature of your ride, you'll acquire the ability to fire projectiles or bash through barriers. This concept has been used to a limited extent in many other games, notably Golden Axe (Genesis) and God of War 3 (PS3). Titans however really beats it to death, causing it to lose its appeal. Another poorly executed concept is the half-pipe "surfing", which employs a weird blur effect. While it's meant to convey speed, it tends to be very hard on the eyes! And why do game designers feel compelled to give animals goofy voices? Crash speaks some bizarre gibberish and his squeaky tone is more annoying than endearing. Crash of the Titans might not seem so bad at first, but the more you play it, the more you'll wish you were doing something else. © Copyright 2010 The Video Game Critic.

My eyes tend to roll when I see a new first-person shooter (FPS), but The Darkness dishes out enough profanity, violence, and original elements to make it worthy of consideration. You play a hit man named Jackie who's supposed to be 21 but looks like the villain from The Crow, who was much older. On the run from the mafia, you suddenly find yourself possessed by a twisted demonic force. One minor side-effect of the possession are huge Alien-like snakes that protrude from your back (by the way, they'll never go away if you don't stop picking on them!). The action gets off to a wild start with a semi-interactive car chase through a New York City tunnel. Depicted with cinematic flair and an alarming sense of speed, it's probably the most remarkable intro I've ever witnessed in a game. In lieu of hackneyed cut-scenes, the Darkness conveys its dramatic storyline through conversations, television news briefs, and even ghostly apparitions. Shooting out lights in games is always fun, and in the Darkness, it actually serves a purpose since you are empowered by the dark. In addition to the standard-issue FPS firearms, your demonic possession provides you with a few unconventional attack options. Your snakes can lash out against foes and rip out their hearts at the touch of a button. It's brutal, gory, and habit-forming! The snakes also give you the ability to slither through tiny openings, but the first-person view employed by these sequences is awful. You tend to stick to every wall and ceiling, and it's disconcerting as hell. More fun is your ability to summon demonic minions from glowing portals. These comical little gremlins include bloodthirsty "berserkers", well-armed "gunners", and "kamikaze" bombers. It's great to send them off to do your dirty work, although directing them can be tricky since your enemies need to be in sight. The game's visuals are first-rate, and if I hadn't played Condemned (Sega, 2006) last year, I would have been blown away by the gritty, realistic urban environments. Unfortunately, I could never quite navigate the streets and alleys without getting lost and going in circles. Also, you tend to move rather slowly, and I often found myself checking to make sure I wasn't crouching! This Xbox 360 version is superior to its PS3 cousin, thanks to its effective vibration feature and load screens that are completely disguised (no meters). The Darkness held my attention like few first-person shooters can, with an edgy brand of demonic carnage you just don't see everyday. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Obviously inspired by the classic zombie flick "Dawn of the Dead", Dead Rising places you in the role of a "hard edged" photojournalist spending three days in a zombie-infested mall. As you fly into town via helicopter, a semi-interactive stage sets the mood perfectly as you survey the devastation. Upon arriving at the mall, a number of supporting characters are introduced, including a few curvaceous babes. The people are realistically animated, but their faces appear to be full of Botox! They also seem strangely oblivious to the dangers around them. The zombies come in a remarkable variety, and while slow and dumb, they're still dangerous due to their sheer numbers - just like in real life! Exploring the expansive mall is fun, and there's also a scenic park, a grocery store, and outdoor shopping areas. But what's most satisfying is how you can beat zombies into bloody pulps using whatever you can get your hands on, including trash cans, benches, steel racks, baseball bats, chainsaws, flower pots, and baguettes. Locate the katana and you can even slice up those creeps "Kill Bill style". Most objects can be used as projectiles as well. It's a blast to mow down zombies en masse with a lawnmower, or kick a soccer ball into a crowd and watch it ping around. Experimenting is really half the fun. Guns are available as well, but ammo is limited and the aiming mechanism isn't so hot. Dead Rising maintains a clever sense of humor, evident in the ability to don silly items like a dress or a Mega Man mask. But despite its awesome concept, Dead Rising manages to shoot itself in the foot in the most unlikely ways. First and foremost, the save system has been universally hailed as the worst ever devised. There's only one save slot, and you can only save your place in rest rooms, which are not ideally spaced. After you die, you're presented with two options: "Load from Last Save" and "Save Status and Exit". Although the second option might seem reasonable, in fact it forces you to restart the game from the beginning! Someone in Capcom's quality control department didn't do a very good job. I also take issue with the insanely hard "bosses". You'll endlessly pump ammo into these freaks, and then they'll turn around and kill you with one hit! The game also suffers from an excessive number of loading screens, and the font used to display dialogue is incredibly tiny. Finally, the missions can be tedious at times, forcing you to backtrack all over God's creation while your annoying cell phone rings off the hook. Dead Rising is definitely a crowd-pleaser, offering ample eye candy and an unsurpassed degree of instant gratification. But those who play the entire game will almost certainly develop a love/hate relationship with it somewhere along the line. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

I always love a good 3D fighter, but Dead or Alive 4 (DOA 4) gave me a serious case of Deja vu. After first playing Dead or Alive 3 (Xbox, 2001) as a basis for comparison, I can tell you that there's really not much difference between the two. Sure, the graphics in DOA4 are slightly better (the edges are softer), but it could still easily be mistaken for DAO3. At the very least, I was expecting more realistic hair textures, but they're still a bit chunky. Even the gameplay feels the same, although some fancy new maneuvers have been added. There are plenty "juggling" combos, obstacles to get tossed into (like a fruit stand), and high cliffs to fall from (before resuming battle). I'm glad Microsoft included a directional pad on their 360 controller, because you really need it for a game like this. The expanded roster of characters includes Ryu from Ninja Gaiden and the guy from Halo, but I wish they had included more stages instead. Attractive but unspectacular, the locales include a Japanese temple in the mountains, a rope bridge over a jungle river, a Greek village by the sea, and a rowdy wrestling venue. You'd think at least the prehistoric dinosaur stage would be interesting, but even that comes off rather ho-hum. In addition to versus and on-line modes, the one-player story mode is fun and some of its endings are quite suggestive. Dead or Alive 4 is a good all-around fighter with no major flaws, but you'd think a next generation system would have more to offer. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

Okay, now this is just embarrassing. Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is a collection of lame mini-games loosely tied together with voyeuristic cut-scenes of young babes frolicking in string bikinis. At least the first Dead or Alive Xtreme (Xbox 2003) offered a decent game of beach volleyball, but this one can't even do that right! Perhaps Tecmo believed the ample eye candy could substitute for quality gameplay, but they were sadly mistaken. Xtreme 2 forces you to play a ridiculous story mode that begins with your chick arriving at a tropical island full of other hot babes. The "game" (and I use the word loosely) takes place over a number of days, and places an unhealthy emphasis on shopping and exchanging gifts with other girls. Since I'm a guy, I really don't give a [expletive] about any of that. Volleyball is still the main event, but its gameplay is laughably bad, with a ground-level camera angle that makes impossible to judge where the ball will land. Worse yet, there's no multiplayer option unless you go on-line! I don't know about you, but I wouldn't even want anybody seeing me playing this on-line! I was hoping the new jet-ski games would redeem the package, but these just play like a third-rate Wave Race, with sparkling water that looks awfully fake. Xtreme 2's miscellaneous "pool games" are equally worthless, although the casino games are fairly well done (hurrah). The remainder of the game amounts to watching girls lounging by the pool in suggestive positions. Man did this game make me feel like a pervert! There's an uptempo soundtrack that's appropriately bouncy, but Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is all style and no substance. I have no problem with hot babes and lush tropical environments, but this is one peep-show in dire need of a video game! © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

The first Devil May Cry (PS2, 2001) won over gamers with its frantic hack-n-slash action, hellish creeps, and magnificent gothic scenery. Like a 3D Castlevania, it was easy to play and the eye candy was off the charts. Its first two sequels were uneven, but Devil May Cry 4 (DMC4) really executes the original formula to perfection. The opening sequence features a woman on stage singing a mournful song as our hero Nero lays waste to peg-legged creeps in the streets outside. While poetic, it's also indicative of DMC4's overdone cinematics. The first stage is dominated by two dudes engaging in a mid-air battle so over-the-top that even Matrix fans will be rolling their eyes. Since both fighters have white hair and red coats, it's hard to tell them apart. Oh I see - Dante has a five o'clock shadow! At the fight's conclusion, Dante is impaled against a wall, pulls the sword out of his own chest, and merrily heads off. It's totally dumb but the game still succeeds despite its ridiculous theatrics. The pacing is swift as you move from one location to the next, dishing out stylish combos while laying waste to winged knights and spinning jesters. Some of the more imaginative creeps include shark-like creatures that glide through solid floors, and specters in flowing robes (which are revealed to be scrawny bugs). I really like those spinning "gyro blades" which can be used to both solve puzzles and slice up enemies. The first boss is a massive fiery centaur, and while the battle is epic, the crazy camera makes it hard to tell what's happening. In general however the fighting action is fun and the puzzles are reasonable. I really like the fact that there's an "easy" difficulty option. You can save after each chapter, and the chapters vary wildly in terms of length and difficulty. From coalmines to a sprawling cathedral to a lush forest, the game offers a diverse assortment of really gorgeous locations. The cinematography and art direction is first rate, but the cut scenes often border on cringe-worthy. Nero is unlikable as the cocky pretty-boy who tosses out one-liners under the most dire of circumstances. When a female character in an outrageous outfit enters the fold, expect to see plenty of gratuitous boob and crotch shots. I'm pretty sure a 15-year-old boy directed this! Devil May Cry 4 loses points for its contrived style, but ultimately triumphs thanks to its nonstop action and awe-inspiring visuals. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

It's hard to tell if Dirt 2 is realistic to a fault, or just not very fun. I'm no stranger to rally racing games, having acquired a taste for them back in the days of Sega Rally (Saturn, 1996). I can appreciate the subtle nuances involved with off-road racing, like anticipating turns, executing precision power slides, and leaning into other cars to cut corners. So why did Dirt 2's first race take me about 20 [expletive] tries to place in the top 3? Playing on the "casual" difficulty no less!! The learning curve is steep thanks to brakes that demand a soft touch. Holding the hand brake for a split-second too long will send you into an uncontrollable slide that won't end until you're facing in the wrong direction. Ugh! It's easy to catch an edge of a wall, and the jarring effects that ensue are disorienting. That said, once I cleared that first track, things got much easier and new tracks, cars, and accessories began unlocking at a brisk pace. The graphics are excellent, especially with regard to the shiny cars that convincingly model damage. Speaking of which, I hate to break it to you guys, but damage modeling is a lot sexier on paper than it is in an actual game. When you're puttering toward the finish line with a smoking engine, dragging fender, and your steering is pulling to one side, it's kind of aggravating! The tracks feature a lot of dusty, off-road circuits, and there's really not much to see. Hell, even Tokyo looks dull! I do like how the tracks tend to be short, and the number of laps is restrained. Dirt 2 tries to offer some variety, offering special challenges like "gate-crasher" courses and "last man standing" contests in addition to normal races. Most of the time you're up against a crowded field, but sometimes you'll race solo against the clock. There's a lot of edgy guitar music, and the load screens are nicely disguised by colorful montages previewing the race ahead. Still, there's nothing really exceptional about Dirt 2. The controls are hard to grasp, and you'll be hitting restart a lot. The "flashback" option lets you "rewind" a race to correct a mistake, but this feature is both cheap and poorly explained. There's no split-screen option. The game also places too much emphasis on superfluous unlockables like liveries and dashboard toys. Who gives a [expletive]? All in all, Dirt 2 is a serviceable rally racer that fails to stand out from the crowd. Casual gamers need not apply. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Earth Defense Force 2017 (EDF) is the 3D equivalent of those Dreamcast-era 2D shooters - the ones with frantic rapid-fire action and projectiles that flood the screen. The familiar premise has an armada of alien ships invading Earth, deploying towering robots and giant rampaging insects. Played from a third-person view, you are an infantryman fighting alongside dozens of other soldiers. The controls are refreshingly simple, mainly limited to the shoulder buttons, and even reloading is automatic! Selecting weapons between stages is key, and there's plenty of big guns to choose from. Typically you'll want one assault weapon for close-range combat, and some kind of rocket launcher for the big jobs. Green blood splashes all over as you employ the standard "strafe and shoot" tactics on the swarms of marauding ants and spiders. The alien bugs look remarkably lifelike, and the cool, retro-futuristic robots lumber around with an alarming sense of mass. The endless blasting is fun, but it's the quality of the visual effects that really caught me off guard. The buildings are the largest I've seen in any game, and when they collapse, it's astonishing. Equally impressive are the enormous alien ships that settle over the landscape and dispatch aliens into the city. What makes the graphics so effective is the fact that you can see very far into the distance, giving the carnage an impressive sense of scale. While running amidst the chaos, you'll want to keep an eye out for pixelated icons to regenerate shields, regain health, and acquire new weapons. There are even opportunities to man vehicles like tanks and helicopters, although the controls for these are less than intuitive. I love the unapologetic B-movie quality EDF exudes, with cheesy radio announcements and gung-ho soldiers that call to mind Starship Troopers (not that I would ever condone that awful film). You can select your difficulty for each stage and even cooperate with a partner on a split screen. My friends absolutely love this game, and often find themselves shouting "holy [expletive]!" in response to the relentless destruction. Only the occasional glitch will remind you that EDF is a budget title. In one instance, a bug was hiding under an overpass, but you could see parts of its body jutting through the road above. Another time my soldier appeared to inexplicably take flight, when in fact he was swimming (with the camera situated underneath). It may be a little rough around the edges, but Earth Defense Force is still exceptional. Incorporating simple controls, substantial firepower, and amazing eye candy, this is a break-through shooter for the 360. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.