The Video Game Critic's
Saturn Reviews A-E

I was expecting Astal to be a dull, generic side-scroller, and the corny, overwrought intro didn't help matters. But once I started playing, I was captivated. The scenery is a pastel-colored fantasy world, and the hand-drawn graphics are wonderfully artistic. Beautiful, tranquil background music compliments the visuals perfectly. The characters are large and colorful, most ranging from fantastic and bizarre. Just wait until you see the bosses - these 3D monstrosities are simply amazing. Of course, the fancy presentation wouldn't mean squat if the gameplay wasn't any good, but it is. The side scrolling action is slow and deliberate, but there are some innovative attacks that spice things up. You can smash the ground, toss enemies, throw things down from the air, and use a devastating breath attack. Best of all, you have a bird companion that can perform special attacks, gather items, and occasionally save your life. It's possible for a second player to take control of the bird, which is a nice touch. Astal provides a few continues, but unfortunately there's no password feature. It takes a while to master the controls, but it's worth the effort. Astal is an attractive, underrated side-scroller. © Copyright 2002 The Video Game Critic.

This has got to be the weirdest [expletive] baseball game I've ever played. I'm still not sure what to make of it. In a feeble attempt to convey a 3D look, Jaleco rendered the players on the pitcher/batter screen in a style that calls to mind Pinocchio or those hidous nutcracker soldiers. With perfectly round heads and visible joints, these guys look positively freaky! Once the ball is put into play however, Bases Loaded '96 takes on a completely different look, with flat fielders that are pixelated beyond belief! Blocky graphics of this magnitude might be appropriate for an Atari 2600 game, but on the Saturn it's just embarrassing! There's no way to slide into bases, and dives are useless because they get no distance at all (your fielder just stretches out on the ground). And why is there an umpire where the second baseman should be? Also odd is how the game goes awkwardly silent between innings as a huge black and white picture of the leadoff batter is displayed. All of the major league teams are included, but there are only eight stadiums, and frankly they look awful. It sounds like a mess, but believe it or not, Bases Loaded '96 is not a bad baseball game at its core. The contests are nicely paced, the controls are responsive, and the CPU plays an intelligent game. If you could play this with your eyes closed, you'd probably enjoy it. It's just a shame the players had to look like animated dolls spawned from the bowels of hell. Equally likely to send chills up your spine is the game's shrill, otherworldly organ music. Bases Loaded '96 is the evil clown marionette of baseball games. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

I remember when my buddy Eric got this game for Christmas in 1996. Being a proud new Saturn owner and huge Batman fan, he was pretty excited at first, but after a few plays even he had to admit that this was complete garbage. It begins promising enough with an inspiring 3D introduction and some dramatic orchestrated music taken directly from the Batman Forever film. But once the action begins, you soon find yourself transported to the lower bowels of video game hell. This is supposed to be a side-scrolling beat-em-up along the lines of Streets of Rage, but it's an absolute disaster of the highest magnitude. The ugly characters are hideously pixilated, poorly animated, and jump around like fleas. The gaudy, cluttered scenery, combined with mobs of thugs and power-ups make it impossible to tell what the heck's going on. There are a few special moves, but button mashing is just as effective (Or is it? Who can tell?!). I'm picking up icons all over the place, but I have no idea if they're having any effect. With two players, Batman and Robin can fight alongside each other, but it just doubles the confusion. Even worse, there is frequent slow-down - incomprehensible for such a simple 2D game. There's no way anybody could have possibly play-tested this mess - it's nearly unplayable! And it's even more shameful when you consider all of the fine Batman games available for the 16-bit systems. After this, Eric vowed never to buy another game by Acclaim. Can't say I blame him. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

As one of my favorite Saturn shooters, Batsugun delivers high-powered vertical action with arcade appeal. The screen is only slightly cropped, and the bright, crisp graphics look like something you'd see in a Neo Geo game. The first stage is peculiar in that it's hard to tell if it takes place underwater or in outer space. The bubbles ultimately give it away, but those roving tanks look very much out of place patrolling the sea floor. Subsequent stages feature sparkling shorelines and scenic waterfalls, and I like how they are layered to convey a sense of depth. The shooting action is pretty standard as you can toggle between two gun configurations and unleash "bombs" to deal widespread damage. There's a lot of stuff happening on the screen, but the framerate keeps up with the action nicely. Destroyed enemies leave golden "checkmarks" in their wake to collect, and I like how point values sometimes appear on the screen. The electronic soundtrack is exceptionally good, and the music in the opening stage sounds like something you might hear in Thunder Force 3 (Genesis, 1991). As much as I like Batsugun, I'll be the first to admit the game suffers from "diarrhea of the firepower". By the third stage, you're spraying missiles like a freakin' fountain outside of a Vegas hotel! When your missles literally consume the screen, lesser enemies are instantly disintegrated before they can even make an entrance! As you can imagine, the two-player coop mode is just too much. Also problematic is how your ship can drift partially off the bottom of the screen, making it fair game to unseen missiles. Batsugun's over-the-top gameplay isn't unique for the Saturn, but it's undeniably fun, and its slick visuals give it a leg up over the competition. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

This 3D fighter originally made its debut on the Playstation in 1995, where it impressed the heck out of video game players who weren't accustomed to such advanced 3D graphics in a fighting game. This "remixed" version for the Saturn is not only a minor disaster, but also a major embarrassment for a system that had an inferiority complex to begin with. I took the time to compare this game side-to-side with its Playstation counterpart, and the difference is night and day. The characters models in this Saturn version look downright ugly, and the textures are pitiful compared to the smooth, polished Playstation graphics. Blonde bombshell Sophia looks like a linebacker with those huge shoulders, and the backgrounds are plain and boring. Even the gameplay feels slow and laborious, and the control is far from responsive. Toshinden Remix offers neither the depth of a Virtua Fighter 2 nor the style of Fighting Vipers, and the computer AI is atrocious. Using Sophia, I was able to strike my opponent with the same attack about 25 times in a row to win a match. If this is the remixed version, I'm glad I missed out on the original. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

This import will set you back a few bucks, but rest assured it is outstanding. Battle Garegga is a hyper-kinetic vertical shooter where you blast tanks, planes, boats, and cannons while weaving through their torrent of missiles. I have a lot of games like this for the Saturn, and let's face it: they're all pretty much the same. Still, I can't seem to get enough of this game. One of the first things I noticed was the publisher: Electronic Arts. Why in the hell didn't they release this in the US? Aren't Americans allowed to have fun too? Garegga lets you choose between four planes, and each manages to be effective without resorting to gimmicks like bubbles or waves. Orange "exclamation point" power-ups augment your firepower, and green icons add shooting satellites that can be repositioned on-the-fly around your ship. There are some huge objects in this game - including your plane. In fact, Battle Garegga probably pushes the limits of what you can get away with in terms of sprite sizes. The stage locations include desert valleys, forest encampments, and industrial plants. Elements like bat-winged airships and trains on elevated tracks give certain stages a retro-futuristic flavor. The stages are relatively short and the bosses never overstay their welcome. Only the final "cloud" stage, which reprises all of the previous bosses, feels uninteresting and repetitive. Battle Garegga is action-packed - sometimes to the point of being overwhelming. The explosions come in many varieties, including bright flames that flare out across the screen. Your special attacks also pack some surprises. One plane unleashes a devastating flamethrower, and another deploys heat-seeking missiles from the back, effectively delaying the ensuing destruction by a second or two. One problem with Battle Garegga is the pencil-shaped enemy missiles that can be hard to spot. Also, there tends to be a lot of flying debris that can clutter the screen. Even so, Battle Garegga is an exhilirating game, delivering top-notch arcade shooting action. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

Bug is a likeable little platform game, but unlike Clockwork Knight, this really is a 3D game. Your bug walks on a series of elevated platforms that twist and turn on all axis, and fortunately he can't fall off the edges. Bug's main attack is to jump on other creatures, but with the help of power-ups, he can also "zap" and "spit". There are also coins for Bug to collect. Complimenting the zany background music are some funny sound effects, including several funny one-liners from Bug. Although Bug is enjoyable for the most part, its slow, deliberate pace might turn off gamers who cut their teeth on Sonic the Hedgehog. If you try to whip through this game in a hurry, you won't last long. On the downside, there's a severe shortage of checkpoints, and even worse, there's no password or save feature. That's a shame, because this is a pretty lengthy game. Other than these issues, Bug is a very solid platform game. © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.

As the last Saturn title developed by the Sonic Team, Burning Rangers is often mentioned in the same breath as great Saturn exclusives like Nights into Dreams, Panzer Dragoon, and Sega Rally. Having mentally prepared myself for the video game experience of a lifetime, I was initially somewhat disappointed. Although the box boasts about "brilliant 3D graphics", in fact the visuals are excessively pixelated, with visible seams in the scenery and clipping problems galore. Burning Rangers does boast some original gameplay however, which ultimately won me over. You control a futuristic, jetpack-equipped, fire-fighting soldier who extinguishes flames with blasts of a laser weapon. As you traverse the floors of a power planet, marine research laboratory, and space station, you'll extinguish flames, rescue whiny victims, and battle the obligatory bosses. Blasting fires is fun and satisfying, especially when you first hold down the fire button to charge your shot. Explosions occur randomly in your path, but these are preceded by a whistling sound, so you have time to pull down immediately in order to leap back. The game's packaging mentions something about "8 levels", but in fact there are only three, and skilled gamers will probably whiz through this game in about an hour. Burning Rangers makes a big deal out of its "voice-directed navigation system", but all that means is a woman's voice tells you where to go. You'll be glad she's there, because the metallic hallways and generic rooms all look pretty much the same. The underwater stage is especially confusing to navigate with all of its identical-looking tunnels. By far the most helpful thing the woman tells you is "you're going the wrong way". Other voices are less helpful, like the guy who urges you to "hurry up - but don't rush!" Rescuing civilians should be satisfying, but you may opt to leave them for dead when you hear how pathetic and whiney they are. Cowering woman: "Why is this happening to me?" Ranger: "I'm here to rescue you, you ungrateful [expletive]!" Okay, I added the expletive myself, but it was well deserved. Burning Ranger may not have lived up to the hype but it still provides more entertainment value than most Saturn titles. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

Intended as a promotional disk for Nights Into Dreams (Sega 1996), this highly sought-after novelty CD is fascinating to play, especially during the holidays. Not only does it feature a playable demo of the game's first stage (and boss), but the visuals change based on the time of the year as determined via the system's calendar! Once December arrives, the lush green landscapes transform into a festive Christmas motif. It's hard to resist the holiday spirit with all of the blinking lights, trees, candles, wreaths, ornaments, and elves. Lively renditions of Joy to the World and Jingle Bells play in the background, and there's even a clock on the title screen that counts down to the big day. Upon completing the two stages, you win "presents" in the form of karaoke songs, concept art, and even extra game modes. Christmas Nights Into Dreams must have been very special back in 1996, and it's still a treat today. Reeking of Christmas through and through, this is a terrific addition to any Saturn collection. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

I'm not sure what inspired Sega to put out this cheesy platform game. As a toy solider, you must survive level after level of killer toys, and the stages take place in various rooms in a house. Most of the action is your standard Mario-style jumping, although you do have an attack move, and I like the way enemies shatter when you smash them. There are some mini puzzles involving pushing around blocks, but they're not what I'd call exciting. As an early Saturn title, Clockwork Knight was not a good demonstration of the system's power. Although some 3D graphics are used, the gameplay is strictly 2D, and the cutesy characters and cheesy background music can be hard to stomach. Clockwork Knight has little sense of style or personality. You could do worse I suppose, but for God's sake, try not to! © Copyright 2001 The Video Game Critic.

Corpse Killer is one of those full motion video (FMV) games (I can hear the groans) that takes place on a zombie-infested island. You play a lieutenant out to rescue three fellow soldiers held captive by a mad scientist named Helman, nicely played by Vincent Schiavelli. Other characters include a Rastafarian named Winston who transports you from place to place in his jeep. He's also a decent actor, but then there's the blonde reporter named Julie who's cute but far less convincing. It doesn't help that she has cringe-worthy lines like "Cool toy - I bet you know how to... turn it on. I bet you know how to do a lot of things". Wow, is it getting warm in here or is it just me? Corpse Killer is basically a collection of short video clips interspersed with lame shooting sequences, requiring you to aim by moving a cursor with the joypad (sorry - no light gun support). You can hold down a button to shoot rapidly, and the splattering blood makes mowing down scores of pixilated zombies at least somewhat satisfying. Actually, many of the digitized "zombies" look like poorly dressed programmer geeks, and I suspect many were developers wanting to make an appearance in what they thought would be a runaway hit of a game. The action isn't totally mindless, as you can shoot certain icons to gain life and ammo, and certain enemies require different kinds of bullets to take down. The video quality is grainy, but at least it's full screen. Filmed on location, the scenery looks terrific. You'll battle in a graveyard, fort, shipwreck, swamp, and an abandoned village. One thing that's sure to annoy players in the poor instruction manual which fails to mention key pieces of information, such as how aborting your mission takes you to the game save screen. I was grateful that the right button lets you skip the video sequences. Corpse Killer isn't all that bad thanks to its unintentionally funny video clips, and even the shallow shooting action grew on me after a while. But it's still hard to say this is a good game while keeping a straight face. © Copyright 2003 The Video Game Critic.

This poorly-named title caught me off-guard. Despite its law enforcement connotations, Crime Wave is really a Twisted Metal-style car combat game. Given an isometric view of a city, your goal is to locate, chase, and destroy one "target" vehicle after the next. It's actually a lot of fun. The cars resemble toys and the detailed scenery is fun to explore. A red arrow on the edge of the screen indicates your next target, but navigating the traffic-filled streets is not easy. You can only see a small section of town at a time, and the overhead map isn't very useful. Once your opponent is in sight, your car can unleash some serious firepower via the trigger buttons. Your opponents are also armed but not very aggressive. Cars begin to smoke as they take damage, and finishing them off results in a satisfying explosion. Crime Wave has a nice arcade sensibility to it, and the music really kicks ass. Unfortunately, the Saturn hardware seems to really struggle with the game. The framerate stutters pretty badly in the single-player mode, and it's practically unbearable in the two-player split screen mode. Had the camera been pulled out slightly and the frame-rate smoothed-out, this game would have been awesome. As it is, Crime Wave is flawed but still entertaining in its own unique way. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

On paper, Criticom probably looked promising, but this 3D fighter turned out to be a major flop. Set in deep space, the background story involves a relic that has drawn several mysterious life forms together to engage in hand-to-hand combat. The dramatic cut scenes and eerie music convey a bleak, desolate world. The interesting assortment of characters includes space pirates, killer robots, and aliens that wouldn't look out of place in the Star Wars cantina. I especially like the creepy demonic woman and her supernatural body movements. The fighter images on the character selection screen are quite intimidating, but once a match begins, you're stuck with stiff, blocky character models. Unresponsive controls and choppy animation make it hard to tell what's going on, and sometimes your fighter even ends up facing the wrong direction! There's no blocking, but you do have an evasive roll maneuver. Certain characters seem to have the unfair ability to grab and throw at will. The battle platforms are elevated, so it's possible to fall off the edges. Most of the backgrounds are uninspired, barren planet surfaces. When all is said and done, Criticom's lackluster gameplay doesn't live up to its compelling theme. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

It's easy to see why Cyber Speedway never made a name for itself. Compared to Wipeout (Playstation, 1995), this futuristic racer looks pretty hokey. Despite the smooth, shiny vehicles depicted on the box cover, you actually control some very ugly, boxy-looking hovercrafts. Twelve tracks are spread across six planets, including all of the obligatory climates: glacial, volcanic, tropical, desert, etc. The courses aren't particularly pleasing to the eye due to considerable pixelation, unsightly seams, and rampant pop-up. At least the tracks are wide enough, and each planet offers its own distinct color scheme and terrain. The planet Evoflammas boasts deep lava trenches, Terra has tracks that dip into the water, and Vastitas features giant flying red centipede. The controls are responsive enough, but I could never quite comprehend the needlessly complicated boost controls. You can fire weapons at opponents, but they're so weak that it's not even worth the trouble. Even direct hits do little more than briefly slow down your target. Another issue is the easy difficulty level, which allowed me to breeze through the game without breaking a sweat. Cyber Speedway's soundtrack consists of a bunch of acoustic guitar numbers, and while there's nothing wrong with them, they seem awfully inappropriate for a futuristic racer. The game's "story mode" attempts to add depth, but it just forces you to sit through a bunch of still graphics and endless dialogue. Cyber Speedway may not be the worst racing game for the Saturn, but it's close. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

D is a bone-chilling, spine-tingling first-person adventure where you control a woman wandering around a huge mansion attempting to discover what happened to her father. This game is unique because it's played in real time, and it ends exactly after two hours after you start playing, unless you finish it, of course. You can't even pause or save your place, so make sure you have two hours free before you undertake this intense adventure. The plodding pace made me impatient at first, but I soon got caught up in the creepy atmosphere. D is effectively frightening and has some genuinely intense moments. Chilling sound effects and ominous music are used effectively, and the first person graphics, although somewhat grainy, are good enough to immerse you in this dark world. Movement is smooth but also very SLOW - slow enough to make retracing your steps feel tedious. Fortunately the puzzles tend to be straight forward, so you won't get stuck in any room for too long. Your character automatically moves toward vital objects, and there are no red herrings to be found. Unfortunately, by the time you get to disk 2, the slow movement and endless puzzles start to get tiresome. The replay value is gravely wounded by the fact that you can never skip the cinematics, which are often lengthy and annoying. But overall D is a spooky and worthwhile trip, at least the first time through. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.

It's cool to see an old-school, side-scrolling shooter on the Saturn, especially when you consider how many great shooters were made for the Genesis. If you've played G-Darius on the Playstation, this version is very similar, but I actually prefer this one because the screen is less cluttered. For you Genesis veterans, this gameplay takes a page from Thunder Force. There are loads of weapons and power-ups to help you dispatch of your enemies, which tend to be fish-inspired. The bosses are large and fully rendered in 3D. The backgrounds aren't very impressive but there are some eye-catching explosions. And even when there's a lot of action on screen, it's not too difficult to tell what's going on (a problem with many other modern shooters). Two people can play at the same time, which is always a nice feature. After completing a stage, you can choose your next stage, which provides some decent replay value. If Darius Gaiden has a weakness, it might be the music. These opera-style tunes just don't get my adrenaline pumping. But overall this is a solid shooter. © Copyright 2000 The Video Game Critic.

Here's an interesting PC title that somehow migrated to the Saturn - in Japan! Fortunately this import is highly playable thanks to its simple controls and English voiceovers. Dark Seed is a point-and-click adventure - something you never see anymore. You control a digitized guy named Mike living in a mysterious old mansion who finds himself experiencing dreams both supernatural and extraterrestrial in nature. The nightmares are rendered in gory detail via some rather unsettling cut-scenes. In one, his head is split open by aliens and a substance is injected into his brain! Mike scales nicely as moves around his house and over to a nearby town and graveyard. I find it amusing how Mike is always speaking out loud when no one's around, stating the obvious like "this road seems strangely empty, andÉ unoccupied." Be sure to have Mike shower and take his medicine each morning, or else he'll complain non-stop about his splitting headaches ("My head feels like it's about to explode!") You make Mike walk by clicking an arrow, and you can toggle the cursor into a question mark (to investigate) or hand (to search). Moving it to the top of the screen displays your inventory, along with a floppy disk "save" icon. For the benefit of non-Japanese gamers, the buttons down the left side of the save screen are load, save, return to game, and exit. Sorry, I can't help you with the various text clues conveyed via books, notes, and newspaper clippings. You'll figure it out - especially if you have an FAQ on hand (wink wink). The best part of Dark Seed is its brooding storyline, which conveys a tale of an alternate dimension clearly inspired by the movie Aliens. The atmosphere becomes pretty intense thanks to the nicely-illustrated scenery, digitalized sounds, and surreal organ music. Sadly, some pretty big design flaws rain on the parade. Many critical objects, like a hair pin or glass shard are really hard to see. You sometimes need to examine an object multiple times to expose a critical clue. There are actions you need to take early in the game (like hide items) which make no sense (until later). Even when using a walk-through, Dark Seed is difficult to finish, so I can only recommend it to determined gamers with a lot of patience. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

I was far too harsh when I originally reviewed Daytona USA. Still, it's hard to avoid comparing it to Ridge Racer on the Playstation. Both titles were released at about the same time, and both were heavily scrutinized. Technically, Ridge Racer is far superior, but that doesn't mean Daytona is a bad game. I really like the fact that you can race against 40 other cars. Weaving through traffic and passing other cars is what real racing is all about, and Daytona delivers plenty of that. The controls are simple and responsive, and the shoulder buttons toggle between four views. Your car actually models damage, and it does affect its performance. Pit stops are available, but they don't make much sense in short races. Most races only run a few laps, but if you attempt the endurance mode, you can actually compete in races of up to 80 laps! You select between four stock cars and three tracks (not including mirrored versions). Daytona USA does suffer in the graphics department. The pop-up (aka "draw-in") is so bad that you can literally see the road sections appearing in front of you. In doesn't affect your driving too much, but it's not a pretty sight. In addition, most of the scenery is wasted since it doesn't even appear until you're halfway past it. I suppose that explains why a two-player split screen mode wasn't included. If there's one other aspect of Daytona that people love to make fun of, it's the music. The cheesy-Latin pop sounds bizarre at first, but it eventually becomes somewhat endearing. The song "Sky High" is the most hilarious of the bunch, sounding like a Japanese lounge singer belting out some really bad English lyrics. To this day, I can often be heard singing "I'm gonna fly-y-y sky high!" in the shower. Despite its quirks, Daytona USA is a fun little arcade racer that's hard to dislike. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

When I first noticed that Sega had released an enhanced version of Daytona, I assumed it was in response to the bad press the first version had received. I also figured Sega would address the major problem with the original game - the relentless pop-up, which made it impossible to see objects in the distance (including the road!). Well, if the graphics in Championship Circuit Edition have improved at all, then I sure can't tell. No, Sega just took the easy way out and doubled the number of cars (to eight), added two more tracks (five total), changed the soundtrack, and added a two-player split screen mode. These are all very nice additions, but they don't improve the gameplay. The two new tracks are interesting. One includes an amusement park with an operational rollercoaster. You can sit on the edge of the road and watch it go around if you want to. The second new track winds through a desert, and it features a running train. The new split screen mode includes handicap and "slow car boost" options, but the graphical pop-up is even more dreadful than the one player mode (as you would expect). Miscellaneous new features include end-over-end crashes and the option to view a replay after each race. I'm not crazy about the new music. There's some annoying hard rock, and "Sky High" is only present in instrumental form. I want to hear that singer! © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.

Despite a title screen that depicts a woman engulfed in flames, Decathlete really isn't painful to play. Like so many other Olympic-style games, it is fast-paced, easy-to-learn, and unintentionally hilarious. But why in the world is Decathlete limited to just two players? At the very least, some kind of multi-tap should have been supported (if not included). Each event is introduced with a quick tutorial, although this feature is inexplicably omitted for the first event, the 100-meter dash. The contests are fun but uneven in terms of difficulty. The shot-put requires only a single, well-timed button press, but the pole vaulting is so complicated I couldn't figure it out. The controls in the javelin event are erratic, causing you to become "stuck" in mid-throw. The character models look awful, with angular bodies that do absolutely no justice to the curves of the female athletes. The guys appear to be wearing thongs, and that's never a pretty sight. The stadiums aren't much to look at, but the soaring skyscrapers and desert mesas looming in the background look great. Although Sega Sport's slogan in 1995 was "We Sweat the Details", you'd never know from all the rough edges, including laughable text ("Let's Go Next Game!") and irritating audio glitches (especially during the 1500 meter dash). I do like how it automatically saves world records and high scores though, and it's pretty easy to get "on the board". Despite its faults, Decathlete is still amusing to play against a friend. Sega would release a much improved sequel for the Dreamcast called Virtua Athlete. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Living up to its name, this 3D brawler offers pure arcade fun. Unfortunately Fox couldn't afford to license the likeness of Bruce Willis for the box cover, so they slapped on a picture of some sweaty alcoholic in a wife-beater instead. You play the role of John McClane out to rescue a group of hostages held by terrorists in a tall office building. One of the hostages happens to be the president's daughter, and she has giant, freaky-looking hands. Die Hard Arcade has chunky polygon graphics, but its gameplay is actually 2D in nature, since you can only engage foes lined up on the same horizontal plane (a la Streets of Rage). The Virtua Cop-style visuals are clean and nicely animated with literally dozens of attack combinations. Some enemies beg for mercy after they've been beaten down, and I love how McClane throws his gun after running out of ammo. He'll also perform devastating head butts when pinned to the ground, and act appropriately when kicked between the legs. There are always plenty of weapons lying around, including hatchets, pipes, pepper spray, and rocket launchers. Unlike most games of this style, Die Hard Arcade does not throw an endless barrage of bad guys at you. No, once you clear out a handful of enemies, you're quickly whisked off to the next room. The game has an oddball sense of humor, most evident in the hilarious bathroom stage. There's a guy doing his business in a urinal, dudes running around in jockey shorts, and everybody is slipping on loose rolls of toilet paper. The game also lets you fight alongside a friend, with player two assuming the role of a blonde chick. Die Hard's pacing is brisk, but you're constantly sitting through load screens. Don't let your guard down during the cut-scenes however, because you're often prompted to jump or throw a well-timed punch. There's a "violence" option on the option menu, but that just causes cheesy chunks of "blood" to fly around during combat. My main issue with Die Hard Arcade is its lack of scoring. Obviously your goal is to complete the game, but that's not easy, and a score would have been a nice way to gauge your progress. Oddly enough, a retro bonus game called Deep Scan included. It's probably the slowest arcade game ever made, yet still somewhat fun. The lack of scoring is a problem, but otherwise Die Hard Arcade is a top-notch Saturn title. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

This game's predecessor, Donpachi (Atlus, 1996), walked a fine line with its vertical scrolling mayhem. Dodonpachi, on the other hand, gleefully hurls itself over the edge, plummeting into the abyss of shooter insanity. Too much is too much, and this series has passed the point of diminishing returns. Dodonpachi is one of those "manic" shooters where everything on the screen has way too much pent-up hostility! The destruction quotient is astounding, and destroyed objects leave gold stars in their wake - which I happen to find irresistible! Your ship wields a beam of destruction that cleanly wipes away waves of tanks, aircraft, and cannons. You'll soar over rocky gorges and high-tech landscapes, but there's not a whole lot to see. Like its predecessor, the well-designed controls are comfortable and leave some room for strategy. You get plenty of bombs, so don't hesitate to use them as a defensive measure. Enemies tend to bombard you with waves of missiles, but if you hang back, you can usually find a seam to slip through. The forgiving collision detection helps too. The action is nicely paced, but the visuals are a little rough. The screen is vertically cropped, although your bomb supply fills some of that black space. The scenery tends to be bland and indistinct, and the explosions are very pixelated. The voice samples are clear enough, and are provided by a female speaking English. You have the option to play alongside a friend, but with firepower this overwhelming, the two-player mode is unmanageable. Dodonpachi doesn't seem fair, but it's not the player who's overmatched - it's your enemies! Once you build up to maximum firepower, your fury practically consumes the entire display, making it impossible for most of your foes to even enter the screen! And is it really any fun when you're just mindlessly annihilating everything in sight while collecting stars that fall into your lap? Well yeah, it is, kind of. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

This vertical shooter pushes the limits in terms of firepower and on-screen activity. But while Donpachi teeters on the edge of sensory madness, it never crosses the line. The action gets pretty intense, but you never feel overwhelmed. You select from three fighter ships with slightly different weapon characteristics. The background scenery offers traditional locations like a forest-entrenched base and a naval port. The snow stage provides a nice change of pace, and in certain areas you can see tiny people scampering along the ground. You enemies generally consist of jets, boats, and helicopters of all shapes and sizes. Bosses are huge mechanical beasts with multiple armaments that can be destroyed one by one. Donpachi's explosions are exceptional. In addition to the typical "clouds of fire", some bosses feature flames that shoot out from their sides. Your firepower is devastating, but you'll want to crank up the difficulty (to normal at the very least) if you want a legitimate challenge. In the easier difficulties, power-ups are far too abundant and the "MP" icon (maximum power) is just plain cheap. Holding the A button unleashes a steady, concentrated beam, but your ship moves slowly. The C button sprays missiles, but your ship is more agile. It's a neat trade-off that provides a layer of strategy. You also have a load of bombs which come in handy for neutralizing a barrage of incoming missiles. Larger enemies expel projectiles by the dozens, but the missiles are well defined and tend to move slowly. Donpachi suffers from some slow-down (especially with two players), but if anything, you'll welcome it! One thing I found very interesting is how despite being a Japanese import, the voice synthesis is entirely in English! "Enemy port dead ahead. Fire at will kid!" The quality of the voice samples is pretty awful though. Accompanied by unpleasant static, they sound like something you'd hear in a Genesis game. In addition to the arcade mode (with unlimited continues), there's a nice "score attack mode" that lets you play individual stages for high score. Donpachi is one of those rare shooters that strikes a fine balance between reason and chaos, and I like that. © Copyright 2009 The Video Game Critic.

I see this all the time - a game with crazy potential ruined by an outrageous difficulty level. A digitized 2D side-scroller, Dragon Heart features sharp digitized sprites, decent control, and well-designed stages with gorgeous scenery. The gameplay is old school at heart, consisting of jumping action interspersed with a series of one-on-one battles. The game's production values are beyond reproach, with fantastic backdrops and characters decked out in convincing medieval gear. The well-rendered scenery includes a mysterious forest, a rocky mountainside, a well-fortified castle, and a courtyard filled with impaled bodies. There's no shortage of gore as most enemies burst into fountains of blood when defeated. As the title implies, you'll face several dragons on your quest. Defeating a dragon earns you its respect, allowing you to summon it when you need a hand. Calling on a dragon (using the L button) initiates an impressive sequence where it flies in from the distance and proceeds to incinerate all enemies on the screen. Some stages let you "ride" dragons from a first-person perspective, but these FMV (full motion video) sequences feature minimal control and are mainly just eye candy. Dragon Heart's stages are relatively short and you can purchase supplies between them. Unfortunately, the difficulty level is far beyond what most gamers are willing to tolerate. Each enemy requires an inordinate number of hits to defeat, and your "endurance meter" drains with each swing of your sword. Trust me, nothing ruins a game like an endurance meter. To retain your stamina, you must play extremely conservatively, slashing only occasionally and blocking constantly. As an unfortunate side effect, the battles tend to go on forever and are often reduced to both warriors hunched down, slashing at each other's ankles. It's unintentionally comical. When you die, you're forced to exit to the main menu and reload, which is aggravating. After failing to make substantial progress the old-fashioned way, I resorted to my Gameshark cheat cartridge, which I used to equip my character with maximum armor and sword strength. This allowed me to play the game more like a traditional hack-and-slash, and it was far more fun, and allowing me to reach stages I would have never seen otherwise. Dragon Heart really does have a lot to offer, but most gamers will never know. © Copyright 2005 The Video Game Critic.

In the mid-90's I would drool over screenshots of Dungeons and Dragons Tower of Doom in the preview section of my favorite video game magazine. Unfortunately, that game never made it to the USA, and over the years I completely forgot about it. Then recently I discovered that the game was available as a Japanese import under the name of Dungeons and Dragons Collection. D&D Collection is a two-disk set that includes both Tower of Doom and its sequel, Shadow Over Mystaria. It doesn't come cheap though, costing up to $100 (or more) on Ebay. It's important to note that these games will not play on an American Saturn console without a special device. A Saturn Game Shark is all that's required to play Tower of Doom, but the second game requires a 4MB memory extension, which I found in the Action Replay 4M Plus cartridge. Is D&D Collection worth the investment? It's hard to say. Tower of Doom's sprite graphics are stunning, with huge monsters pulled straight from the D&D Monster Manual, including kobolds, troglodytes, ghouls, scorpions, ogres, and hell hounds. And just wait until you see that huge dragon! You can be a fighter, cleric, elf, or dwarf, and each has his/her own unique style of play. Lavishly illustrated scenery ranges from forests to caves to ghost ships. Best of all, the stages branch, providing more replay value than your typical side-scroller. An elegant orchestrated soundtrack compliments the fine visuals. The action itself is basically hack-n-slash, but depending on your character class you may also have projectile attacks or spells. Responsive controls let you defend, jump, slide, crouch, and dash. The battles are fine, but the animation is a somewhat rough, and it can be hard to tell what's going on at times. It's fun to encounter new monsters, but when they start making return appearances later in the game, the action starts to wear a little thin. I enjoyed some of the fine graphical details, like how arrows break in half when they are blocked, or how a troll will dance around if you set it on fire. Tower of Doom's sequel, Shadow of Mystaria, further develops the same basic formula with extra characters (including a magic user and thief), a streamlined magic selection system, additional moves, and the ability to change characters when you continue. While most critics consider Mystaria to be much better, I found it to be somewhat boss-heavy. Some of the creatures have outrageous life bars and take forever to defeat. There's quite a bit of Japanese dialogue in these games, so much that it inspired me to want to learn Japanese. On the downside, both games feature an excessive number of load screens, and the unlimited continues remove most of the drama and suspense. D&D Collection is one of those odd games where its sum is less than its parts. I'm happy to have it in my game library, but to be honest it's not as fun to play as it looks. Still, if you're into 2D medieval combat games like Golden Axe (Genesis), you'll appreciate D&D Collection for what it is. © Copyright 2004 The Video Game Critic.